Lord Drake Misadventures Season 2
by Vyce Dryke
Summary: Lord Drake Misadventures returns!
1. Guess who's back?

Lord Drake Misadventures Episode 2-1

Lord Drake: Is this thing on?  
>Tlanextic: Yes my lord, it's rolling fine.<br>Vyce: I'm ready for my cloooooose up~!  
>Lord Drake: Back off Daemoness! It's my camera! I'm the star here, my name is in the title.<br>Vyce: No! I got myself ready and everything.  
>Tlanextic: Well you got some time for the opening credits so you two fight over the camera. Oh wait, you're already doing that.<p>

It is the 42nd millennium. For more than a hundred centuries the Emporer has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. He is the master of mankind by the will of the gods, and the master of a million worlds by the might of his inexhaustables armies. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisible with power from the Dark Age of Technology. He is the Carrion Lord of the Imperium for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day, so that he may never truely die.

But now, Terra lies in flames, as the mighty forces of Chaos has finally defeated it's mortal enemy. The Imperium of Man is scattered, the Emperor is dead or missing, it's armies a whimper of their former selves. Space Marine chapters devastated or biding their time, while the foul forces of chaos roam free to do as they wish. The Xenos, The Eldar, The Ork, The Necron, The Dark Eldar, and even the hungry Tyranid, have gone strangely silent.

To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruellist and most bloody regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for some much has been forgotten, never to be re-learned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace among the stars, only and eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.

The Cast:

Lord Drake, The Crazy Chaos Lord, "What do you mean I can't take my limited edition Kooking with Kharn plushie with me?"

Tlanextic, Annoyed Chaos Sorceor, "My Lord, squares don't fit into circles."

Vyce, Slaaneshi Chaos Dragon, "Oh my god I broke a nail!"

Dragonspit, Champion of Chaos, "My lords.. and lady. I'm here to report that the men are finished training for the Khorne Bake Sale."

And Rhuemwight, the lowly cultist, "I was an Inquisitor once, I won't stand for th-AUUUUGH MY SPLEEEN!"

The place, The Dragon's Haste, the flagship and of the Black Draconis Chaos Space Marine Legion. The Time, years after the fall of the Imperium. The who, Lord Drake and Company. The why... why not?

Lord Drake: Finally! It is ready! The tattered remains of the Imperium will bow to my power.  
>Tlanextic: All you're doing is making waffles with a waffle maker.<br>Lord Drake: I know! Tremble in fear! My Khorne Waffles will be the talk of the town!  
>Tlanextic: Galaxy you mean?<br>Lord Drake: Town. Galaxy. What's the difference? All that matters is I have Khorne's Unholy Waffle maker! I will topple the Khaine's Waffle House Chain.  
>Tlanextic: I thought you were making the Imperial dogs tremble.<br>Lord Drake: They will! Tremble that is. And then when I topple the chain, I'll have a monopoly on waffles. I'll call it. The Dragon's Waffles!  
>Tlanextic: *sighs* How original. Not like you named the entire fleet The Dragon's something.<br>Lord Drake: Why thank you! I thought so myself.

Suddenly, Dragonspit rushed into the scene.

Dragonspit: My Lord! We have a problem?  
>Lord Drake: Problem?<br>Dragonspit: It's hard to explain.  
>Lord Drake: Explain!<br>Dragonspit: It's hard to explain that it's hard to explain.  
>Lord Drake: Then explain to me why it's hard to explain why it's hard to explain.<br>Dragonspit: It's hard to explain why it's hard to explain that it's hard to explain Lord Drake: Then explain to me why it's hard to ex-  
>Vyce: DRAGONSPIT! Where the hell are you? Get this freak away from me.<br>Lord Drake: Don't interrupt me! I hate being interrupted. I'll destroy you!  
>Tlanextic: My Lord, pl-<p>

Before Tlanextic can finish, Lord Drake runs from the planning room (AKA The Broom Closet. What? It's a big closet.) and to the docking bay, then to the chaos dragon's lair, then back to the closet and then down to the Cultist Longue (AKA the REAL planning room, but Drake wouldn't have it, he likes brooms.) and finally up to a wrecked Bridge area. Cultists and equipment was strewn about everywhere, and the Chaos Dragon was being chased by a familiar looking Chaos Lord in pink.

Tlanextic: Oh for the love of the four fathers.  
>Lord Drake: CORRACK!<p>

The two Slaaneshi followers stop and look over to Drake.

Lord Corrack: She did it!  
>Vyce: He did it!<br>Lord Drake: Corrack, it's been way too long, I haven't seen you since... since.. I don't remeber.  
>Tlanextic: Terra my lord? Where we played into the Emperor's hands and did exactly what he wanted, killed him for unlimited paid vacation as he struts around the Warp as if he owned the place.<br>Lord Drake: What was that?  
>Tlanextic: Nothing to concern yourself with my lord.<br>Lord Drake: Of course not! Corrack!  
>Lord Correck: What?<br>Lord Drake: What are you doing here anyway? I thought I told you you had to RSVP to get on my ship.  
>Lord Corrack: I was planning on talking to you, but then I got distracted by gorgeous babe and demonesses I lost track of time. I think there was something important, but I don't remember. I got.. distracted.<br>Vyce: Distracted and right in my face! He ruined everything. Everything!  
>Lord Drake: What'd he ruin?<br>Vyce: Uhm... Come to think of it. Nothing. Nothing at all.  
>Tlanextic: Oh really?<br>Vyce: Shut up bird brain.  
>Corrack: She was watching My Litt-<br>Vyce: CORRACK!

The two start running around again, Tlanextic facepalms and sighs while Drake attempts to figure out what the hell the Demon Dragon was on about. Suddenly the ship rocks as it rams into something. The alarms go off and the klaxons wail, cultists panic as the daemons on the bridge growl and hiss, the lights flicker on and off. Dragonspit arrives on the bridge and starts barking orders, the cultists keep panicking. A shot goes off, Dragonspit's bolter smokes and the cultists return to their positions.

Lord Drake: What in the name of Khorne's footlocker was THAT?  
>Corrack: I didn't do it!<br>Vyce: I didn't do it!  
>Tlanextic: I'm not particularly sure what in the warp we hit, there haven't been any threats in this sector since we put down another Former Imperial world under Black Draconis rule, and the other Chaos legions are nowhere nearby.. Curios.<br>Lord Drake: Sensors!  
>Cultist Rio: My Lord, I regret to inform you that the sensors are down. Pleasedon'thurtme!<br>Lord Drake: Cultist! You foolish fool! I will have you killed!  
>Cultist Rio: Master! Please! Forgive me!<br>Dragonspit: Shall I?  
>Lord Drake: Shall you what? Dragonspit: Kill him?<br>Lord Drake: Good Khorne no! This is exactly why I ordered the screen door on the front of the bridge for such an occasion.  
>Tlanextic: What? I thought I told you we weren't installing that.<br>Dragonspit: I was told to keep our personnel away from that part of the ship.  
>Vyce: You did? I didn't get that memo.<br>Corrack: I'm not sure I can even read.  
>Vyce: Lord Drake mentioned we should put a screen door on the bridge. I thought it was a fabulous idea.<p>

Tlanextic and Dragonspit both sigh and facepalm.

Drake: Well anyway. Cultists! Open the screen door!  
>Tlanextic: No you fools! You'll kill us all!<p>

The cultists on the bridge exchange glances, unsure whose orders to follow.

Tlanextic: See! They see reason.  
>Lord Drake: Lies! Open it!<p>

The cultists look dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. The various daemons embedded in the consoles start laughing, and Tlanextic and Drake start arguing. Nothing happens. Vyce rolls her eyes and the daemonic dragon walks towards the consoles, stepping between them.

Vyce: Now which one was it... Here it is!

Vyce pushes a button, the front section of the bridge creaks and slowly opens. Everyone on the bridged freezes, including the bickering leaders, and it opens up to... nothing. Vyce surprisingly starts laughing.

Vyce: Oh they installed a screen door alright.  
>Drake: You stupid cultists! You only put a solid door over the bridge screen! Now how are we going to know what's outside! Fools! Cowards!<br>Vyce: I was waiting for the day he'd be stupid enough to try to use it.  
>Corrack: Amazing!<br>Drake: I'll kill you all! I hate you! And you! And you!

Drake starts pointing randomly, meanwhile Dragonspit relays orders to dismantle the door off the screen.

Tlanextic: But seriously, what the warp did we hit?  
>Drake: I don't know, you'd think somebody would know we're about to hit something. Anybody? No? Curses.<p>

Louder sounds of explosions and fighting ring out further along the ship, under the bridge. And before you knew it the doors to the bridge buckled.

Drake: What's going on here? Who can fighrt all of our forces! Where are our other ships! WHERE!  
>Tlanextic: Calm down, we have the best of the best here. You, the Master of Black Draconis, myself, your advisor, Vyce over there, whatever the warp her role is. There's Dragonspit, our finest warrior, and then there's Corrack. Whatever is on our vessel, we can take it.<br>Vyce: He has a point.  
>Corrack: Save me! Please!<p>

The doors slam open, and out walks Abbadon and Ahriman.

Ahriman: I told you we could lure him into a trap!  
>Abaddon: Silence Tzeentch lacky. Lord Drake! I am here for my revenge!<br>Drake: Revenge? Surely you have better things to do than track me down only to kill me.  
>Tlanextic: And what trap? We were just flying along and all of a sudden, wham!<br>Abbadon: There was no trap?  
>Ahriman: Yes there was. We appeared in front of them after we saw them. I teleported us here.<br>Abbadon: You fool! Get out of my sight before I have you killed.  
>Drake: Nice to see you shorty!<br>Tlanextic: Lord Abbadon, why are you really here?  
>Abbadon: Well now that he's gone, I have a confession. I'm bored.<br>Vyce: Bored?  
>Abbadon: Yes. Since you fools more or less broke Terra, our normal adversaries went missing. Completely.<br>Tlanextic: We noticed that as well.  
>Abbadon: I've been searching everywhere, all over the galaxy, it's only turned into a major turf war between the Chaos Legions.<br>Drake: So? Why would you be bored of that? That sounds like a good time to me.  
>Tlanextic: And the ultimate goal of Chaos, plunge the galaxy into.. well.. chaos. The four powers endlessly fighting without interruption for all eternity.<br>Abbadon: Well truth be told all the Black Crusades were fun. Chaos was all one big family against our most hated foe, the Emperor. Now it's nothing but mirror matches until time ends.  
>Vyce: Still plenty of fun to be had!<br>Abbaadon: You're a servant of Slaanesh, everything should be fun to you.  
>Vyce: It is! All the time. It's happy hour all hours!<br>Abbadon: Look the point is there's no challenge, like before nobody is gaining any ground.  
>Drake: So? Go crush them all, see if I care, just leave us alone.<br>Abbadon: We can't.  
>Drake: Why?<br>Abbadon: Ask your sorcerer.  
>Tlanextic: Simple, the great game must go on, or Chaos will vanish. If any power gains too much of a foothold and wins, everyone loses, Chaos becomes static.<br>Drake: So again, everything is as it should be, why should we care?  
>Abbadon: Because some of the Legion leaders are getting too greedy, and things are getting out of hand. As much as I hate to say this, we need to figure out what happened to the Emperor, his lackeys, and worst of all the Xenos filth Drake: How do I say this... I don't care?<br>Tlanextic: The universe will continue on like always, advantages will be gained, the balance will be maintained.  
>Abbadon: And if it doesn't?<br>Vyce: Well Abby, that means you can call us, in the meantime, we'll continue to do whatever we want.  
>Drake: Besides, we don't have room here for a linear storyline! Now get lost, and you have the repair bill for my ship.<br>Abbadon: Oh I'll get lost, but I won't fix your ship. Have fun being stranded!

Abbadon glows, and he cackles maniacally, vanishing as he's summoned elsewhere.

Vyce: That was exciting!  
>Drake: Blast! Curses! AFTER HIM!<br>Tlanextic: My Lord, we're not going anywhere with the damage to the ship.  
>Drake: The Dragon's Haste has never failed me! Start the engines! Sacrifice some cultists to get Tzeentch to fix the ship or something. You're the Sorcerer around here, send a call to Drache.<br>Tlanextic: Right. I'll get right on that... 


	2. Love Letters

Lord Drake Misadventures Episode 2-2

Somewhere, in deep spess.

Lord Drake stomps across the dimly lit hallways of The Dragon's haste, boots clanking off the metal flooring. His destination appears to be belowdecks, where the Chaos Dragon kept her lair on this vessel. He knocked on the large door, half-expecting to be hissed away as usual. Instead there was silence. Drake blinked, unsure of what to do. Shrugging, he knocked the door open, seeing the Dragon hunched over a desk, appearing to be making something.

Lord Drake: What in the warp are you doing?  
>Vyce: I'm making a love letter.<br>Lord Drake: A love letter? To who? I thought you were with whats-his-face.  
>Vyce: I am, this is just for someone else.<br>Lord Drake: Well who the hell is it? That doesn't look like a love letter.  
>Vyce: It's to Corrack.<br>Drake: Corrack? I thought you hated him.,'  
>Vyce: I do.<br>Drake: Oh. So why does it look like a virus bomb?  
>Vyce: That's because it is a virus bomb.<br>Drake: Charming, but Corrack won't fall for it.  
>Vyce: Of course he will, he'll see it's from me, go crazy, then open to see it. And when he opens the packaging he'll release the virus bomb in whatever location he's at. Then. BOOM! Virus escapes, kills everything.<br>Drake: I'll admit it's clever, but it'll never work.  
>Vyce: We'll see.<p>

While Vyce wraps up the package, getting ready to have some revenge, Corrack suddenly bursts in. The Chaos Dragon stares, then stashes it away.

Corrack: Helllloooo Ladies!  
>Drake: I'm not a lady.<br>Corrack: Of course not you. Lady then?  
>Vyce: Of course he is. Corrack, what are you doing here?<br>Corrack: What do you mean? I'm here so often I might as well paint my armor black and splotch on some red and be Black Draconis.

Vyce sighs and grumbles.

Vyce: Well why don't you and your boyfriend over there leave the ship?  
>Corrack: Well... He's not my boyfriend, he's like.. my best friend here.<br>Drake: I have the feeling I should feel insulted.  
>Corrack: Well I have... important stuff to discuss Drake! Let's get goi-Oooh what's that?<p>

Corrack was heading for the door, dragging Drake with him, and then he stops and looks towards Vyce.

Vyce: What's what?'  
>Corrack: That shiny thing under your desk. I think it has my name on it too.<br>Vyce: It's nothing! Nothing at all, you're imagining things, it's all the Slaneshi drugs getting to you man! It's a bad trip man!  
>Corrack: A bad trip? I don't think I've had any of those.<p>

Reminder, we here at Misadventures don't condone drug use, however it makes for convenient jokes when Slaanesh followers are involved.

Corrack: Did you hear something?  
>Vyce: No.<br>Drake: It must be the drugs! Come on! We're got to de-drug you or something.

Tlanextic: You want me to do what?  
>Drake: You know.. Uhm.. De-drug him. Make him lose his Mojo? Make him not be a cool cat or something? Removed the drugs from Sex, Drugs, an..<br>Tlanextic: Dammit Drake, I'm a Sorceror, not a doctor.  
>Drake: Really?<br>Tlanextic: My Lord, we've been over this so many times, Sorcerers aren't medical doctors. You would have to talk to Nurgle or something. Ask for that one Eldar lady that's the goddess of healing or whatnot.  
>Corrack: Drake?<br>Drake: Hold on Corrack, we're going to get divine help from.. Corrack: It just occurred to me I'm not drugged up. That damned dragon! I want my shiny thing!  
>Tlanextic: I think she was headed for the loading docks if you want to find her. But what's this about a shiny thing?<br>Drake: It's a viru-  
>Corrack: No time to lose! Let's go!<p>

Tlanextic stands on the bridge, pondering this, then he groans and facepalms.

Tlanextic: A virus... Oh no. I better put an end to this.

Meanwhile, in the loading bay.

Vyce is dashing across the bay, knocking over cultists and slaves, barreling past Chaos Space Marines, looking for where she can dump her cargo. She trips, and the container with the virus in it flies out of her hands, bouncing across the bay and right at Corrack's feet

Corrack: What's this? For me? Aw. Lesse.. To Corrack, Love Vyce. How sweet!  
>Vyce: No!<br>Drake: Corrack you idiot, it's a virus bomb, don't open it.  
>Corrack: It is? Is it like a computer virus? I'm sure we can use Norton or something.<br>Tlanextic: Norton is terrible, and McAfee eats databases on a regular basis, it's all a conspiracy.  
>Vyce: Really?<br>Tlanextic: I made up the second part. We really should dispose of i-

Before anything else happens, Corrack rips open the packaging, everyone in the room tenses. Corrack stares at the virus bomb shell, he blinks.

Corrack: Vyce! How could you?  
>Vyce: I can expl-<br>Corrack: This is the best gift ever! I'll be sure to use it next time. I only hope I don't drop it on the way!  
>Vyce: Uhm.. Sure.. Just make sure you leave as soon as possible.<br>Corrack: I'll make sure to give you one in return! ... Oops! I dropped it!

Corrack fakes dropping it, and everyone briefly panics. Then Corrack cackles and catches it before it hits the ground, then turns to leave, taking his honor guard with him.

Tlanextic: That could have been worse.  
>Vyce: Indeed.<br>Drake: Where did you get that thing anyway?  
>Vyce: A Daemon of Nurgle owed me a favor. Hopefully he'll do something stupid with it when he leaves.<br>Tlanextic: Like what?  
>Vyce: Who knows, the threat is gone so I no longer care.<p>

Meanwhile, over Cadia.

Corrack: Oops! I dropped it! 


	3. Hold of the Secret Vipers

Lord Drake Misadventures Episode 2-3 Hold of the Secret Vipers

By: Vyce Dryke, 2011

On the planet Falane VIII, hidden and nestled deep within a sprawling hive city, a Dark Ritual occurs in the place called the Hold of the Secret Vipers. The home of an amateur Chaos Cult, making another attempt at summoning a Daemon of Chaos to do their bidding and to finally rid themselves of the menace upstairs, one of the remaining planets of the Imperium.

Athench: Vaurog, why are we doing this again, this will problably be our fiftenth failed attempt. We need to do more to please the dark gods to bring up a daemon! All we've done is stay down here and sulk and try to beg and ask nicely for our dark fathers to give us what we need.  
>Vaurog: But Athench, it will certainly work this time!<br>Athench: That's what you said last time.  
>Vauron: But...<br>Athench: And that's what you did last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. So why hasn't it worked yet, and why should we continue to care? The cult is losing faith in us Vauron, and if that happens, they might as well go topside and tell the Imperial Dogs that we're down here.  
>Catha: My lords, I'm sorry to interrupt, but it appears that the guys upstairs don't view us as a threat. They already know of our existence, but it appears they don't care because we haven't accomplished anything yet, they're more concerned with the real threats outside in the galaxy.<br>Vauron: You'll wait and see! It'll work this time! I promise.  
>Catha: Your followers are attempting the ceremony right as we speak. I will see you down there with them I trust?<p>

Catha, the flimsy cultist, stumbles outside the wreckage of a room, the level they were on was long abandoned by society upstairs ages ago, and the authorities don't bother coming down at all anymore, leaving cults like the Secret Vipers to do as they please, and continue to fail as they please. Vauron huffs, giving Athench a glare.

Athench: It will fail again, why should we bother? I won't even come down there this time.  
>Vauron: They need us Athench.<br>Athench: Well they can settle with one of the leaders, I'm staying put.

Vauron sighs and shakes his head, leaving the room with a grumbling Athench. The cult leader makes his way down through the Hall of Salvation, across the Icy Battlement, past the Bleeding Mine of Idols, near the Office of the Angel.. (Suffice to say there were so many cults 'downstairs' that you couldn't go across the street or around the corner without passing a dozen or so cults. Strangley the Inquisition or 'the man upstairs' hasn't put much effort in stamping them out.)...and then finally reaching the Unhallowed Depository.

Vauron was unsurprised to see one of the other cults, the Cult of Blasphemy and Damnation, which was the cult voted most likely to summon a daemon to destroy everything, standing patiently for their turn. The Unhallowed Depository was the agreed shared location between all the cults. It was ran on a schedule, maintained and written by the Missing Strongroom Cult, and was put together so well it's surprising all these cults haven't banded together in the greater name of the Chaos Gods.

Perhaps it was for the best.

Catha: Lord Vauron! I think we have a breakthrough!  
>Vauron: What? how is that possible?<p>

Vauron stares into the center of the Unhallowed Depository, the ritual was going as usual, but this time there was a portal to the warp. The portals have come up before, with no results, but never for the Secret Vipers. Even the Cult of Blasphemy and Damnation was amazed their rival cult pulled it off.

Vauron: Anything?  
>Catha: Unfortunatly no my Lord, it seems to be the same as with anyone else, perhaps the Chaos Gods aren't interested in us and this world?<br>Vauron: Maybe.  
>Oshat: Perhaps this is a sign! The portal hasn't answered your group before! We should add your strength to our own!<p>

Oshat was part of the Cult of Blasphemy and Damnation, or more specifically it's leader. Varuon look shocked, today was turning out stranger than usual.

Vauron: Perhaps that is a good idea.

Oshat snickers, and the two cults come together to worship the dark gods in their own strange ways, ritual sacrifices, the works. Then suddenly, the portal flickered with life. Oshat, who was eager to bring glory to only himself, stepped directly in front of the portal, arms spread wides.

Oshat: We welcome the Dark God's servant, that we may use him to destroy our enemies upstai-AUUUUGH!

A toothed and scaled maw appeared through the portal and quickly snapped up Oshat, then vanished back into the portal before anything could move.

Vauron: By the Dark Gods!  
>Catha: That must be a powerful daemon!<p>

The portal flickers again, both cults nearly panic as a scales and clawed paw stomped out of the portal, followed by another, eventually giving way to a large black and red dragon, growling and hissing.

Vyce: You DARE summon me?

The Chaos Dragon steps out of the portal, in her large feral dragon form, her gaze quickly scanning the area she was now in. The portal collapses in on itself as both cults panic and scatter, fearful of a clearly angry daemon.

Vyce: Who dared summon me? What is this? I'll tear you limb from limb! I thought I had a clause writte into my contract with Slaanesh that this woulnd't happen! I want names! And a larger enclosure!  
>Vauron: My Lord!<br>Vyce: My Lady.

Vauron stared, jaw open, it hadn't occurred to him daemons may have gender. He was also horrified that a Daemon of Slaanesh had come to assist them, he heard many stories. The Slaaneshi Dragon huffs and changes to her 'normal' bipedal form, still glaring and adjusting his chaos space marine armor.

Vyce: Dragon got your tongue cultist?  
>Athench: What's all this ruckus abou-Holy Warp! A daemon!<br>Vyce: And another cultist, where am I? What is this place?

Vauron finally recovers himself.

Vauron: Daemon! I am Vauron of the Cult of the Secret Vipers! We need your assistance!  
>Vyce: Assistance? This may be fun after all. I hope it'll make up for that cultist I tasted. I always hate the taste, but it's always so satifying for some reason. But what do you need me for?<br>Vauron: We need to defeat the guys upstairs! Vyce: Upstairs? The Imperium? Eldar? Athench: The second, The Imperium is upstairs, they never send anyone down to stamp us out, but somehow we survive!  
>Vyce: We?<br>Vauron: We have multiple cults down here, is that how it is or was elsewhere?  
>Vyce: I come from a Daemon World, I belong to the Black Draconis Chaos Legion! Catha: Black Draconis? I have heard of them! The most powerful of all the legions. Rumor has it their leader Lord Drake is a brilliant strategist, his Sorcerer friend a raving lunatic, and a pet dragon that doesn't care about anything.<p>

Vyce quickly draws her broadsword, crackling with energy in front of Catha's face.

Vyce: Is that what the galaxy thinks of us? The 'pet dragon' is the Daemon Dragon before you, I serve no-one but the great serpent.  
>Catha: Of course my lady!<br>Vyce: Also Drake is a moron, and I'm suprised Tlanextic is holding the legion together.  
>Vauron: May I have the honor of your name?<br>Vyce: My name? I am the Slaaneshi Daemon Dragon Vyce Dryke. Fear and tremble! I don't see enough trembling!  
>All: We're trembling!<br>Vyce: Good good. Now get all your cults together, we'll go upstairs and take up 'the man that's keeping you down'!  
>Vauron: Who?<br>Vyce: The Imperium.  
>Vauron: Oh.<p>

Hours later, as many cults were highly skeptical there was a daemon among them, even so, one brought in by the Secret Vipers cult. Many cultists were threatened, leaders eaten by large daemon dragons, and many dances, death, destruction caused by all.

When they finally gathered all the cults together, with whatever they had at their disposal, they make it up the stairs after Vyce makes a stirring speech, and as the reached the top of the stairs.

Vyce: There's... There's nothing here!  
>Vauron: Impossible!<p>

The gathered warhost looks around, the hive city was.. gone?

Vyce: You fools! You summoned me here for nothing!  
>Catha: I don't understand!<br>Vyce: When exactly was the last time any of you guys went topside?  
>Vauron: I swear it was recent...<br>Catha: We have sent scouts, but they never came back, we assumed they were killed.  
>Vyce: Killed by what? Maybe they saw freedom and took it. Now I'll need to throttle the nearest Psyker to get the Black Draconis fleet over here, or at least my personal ship! I can't believe I wasted all this time for nothing! I'll make sure Lord Drake kills every single last one of you or I'll do it myself!<p>

The cults disperse, unsure of what to do now, many of them were there in the first place. There was no trace of the hive city anywhere, and the section with all the cults were several levels down underground. The cults didn't really have a purpose, they summoned a daemon and were eager to die in war against the Imperium, but now what was there to do? Their goal was strangly gone.

Vyce: There better be a purpose to all of this! 


	4. Attack of the Eliphants

Lord Drake Misadventures Episode 2-4

The Black Draconis fleet hovers over Falane VIII in high orbit. The vessels of Chaos holding a blockade while The Dragon's Haste touches down on the planet. The various cults scatter as the battleship touches down, and the ramp opens, Drake and Tlanextic are walking down the ramp, with a black andf purple dragon in tow.

Drake: And so I was laughing the entire time an-Oh hello dragon.  
>Vyce: Drake. Did you miss me?<br>Drake: Not really, no. Your Imperial 'slave' did though.

Drake shoves a tightly bound and secured purple bipedal dragon to the Chaos Dragon, who she grabs and sighs.

Vyce: Freyskol. Shame on you. Did you cause trouble?

The dragon make muffled growls and Vyce cackles, removing the gag.

Freyskol: I'm not a slave to anyone!  
>Vyce: Tsk. Still defiant, even after all this time, don't you ever give up?<br>Freyskol: Never.  
>Vyce: Mm. Still brainwashed.<br>Drake: So why on earth are we here?  
>Tlanextic: And other than to pick you up.<br>Vyce: Well something suspicious happened... All these cultists were around to defeat a hive city, but it's gone.  
>Drake: What do you mean it's gone?<br>Vyce: Like it never existed.. Almost like it was...  
>Tlanextic: Retconned?<br>Vyce: Then why do these fools remember it?  
>Tlanextic: They probably weren't noticed.<br>Freyskol: Well what if it wasn't retconned?  
>Vyce: If it wasn't retconned, who the hell can cleanly remove a hive city? This sounds like Eldar work.<br>Tlanextic: Or Sorcery.  
>Drake: Who cares? Lets just leave this rock with all these cultists in tow, we can never have too many cultists.<br>Neroth: I like the Sorcery angle myself.

A Chaos Sorcerer, clad in Black armor with gold trim, had appeared out of Warp Space behind the assembled group of Chaos followers.

Tlanextic: Who are you?  
>Drake: And why do you look familiar?<br>Neroth: That's becau-  
>Drake: Nono, don't tell me. You guys are.. the Black Pegions?<br>Neroth: No. We're...  
>Drake: Black Sabbath?<br>Tlanextic: My Lord, they've been dead for ages.  
>Drake: They have? Why in the world is their music still around, that's what I want to know.<br>Vyce: I heard someone found it with a STC, the Mechanicus went crazy. They weren't sure if the music was the STC or the STC was the STC.  
>Tlanextic: And?<br>Vyce: The Inquisition got involved and declared it was heresy, and killed anyone who listened to the music, then throw it in the garbage they regularly sent into the warp.  
>Drake: Hey! Let's pay attention to what's important here. These guys are the Black Drac-<p>

Tlanextic sighs.

Tlanextic: Enough, he's from the Black Legion.  
>Drake: Who?<br>Tlanextic: Abbadon's legion.  
>Drake: Who?<br>Tlanextic: Nevermind.  
>Drake: There must be another reason they sound familiar. I think it starts with an E. Eli.. Eliphant.. Elistorm, Elipants.<br>Tlanextic: Eliphas?  
>Drake: Yes! Eliphas. I bet he's still alive. I can ask him about the wife and kids!<br>Tlanextic: He doesn't have a wife and kids, we don't have kids or wives.  
>Drake: Well if he does have a wife and kids, I can call you Nancy all week.<br>Tlanextic: And if he doesn't have a wife and kids, I can call you Lady Gaga all week.  
>Drake: Shut up I'm Lady Gaga!<br>Tlanextic: You sound too eager for that name.  
>Drake: No, I hate it, I just always wanted to make that joke.<br>Neroth: Ahem?  
>Drake: What?<br>Neroth: I'm still here.  
>Vyce: Really? Do you want a medal for it? Did you make the hive city disappear? Is it your fault my time was wasted?<br>Neroth: Goodness no, I wouldn't waste my time on an imperial world, when there are more important things to do in the name of chaos!  
>Tlanextic: So why are you here?<br>Eliphas: REVENGE!  
>Drake: What?<p>

Another entry to the warp opens and spits out Eliphas, followed by a Black Legion squad.

Eliphas: We meet again Lord Drake!  
>Drake: Eliphas! How many times have you died now? Is it over nine thousand?<br>Eliphas: No you moron, stop using overused internet memes.  
>Drake: Is it fifty?<br>Vyce: NOT FIFTY!  
>Eliphas: No, probably a few now.<br>Tlanextic: I thought you were a Daemon prince.  
>Eliphas: No, the Space Marine campaign is canon, I got killed in the first mission.<br>Drake: That's pathetic. How did the wife and kids take it?  
>Eliphas: They weren't surprised sadly.<br>Drake: HAH! I TOLD YOU NANCY!  
>Tlanextic: What! This.. This cannot be!<br>Eliphas: Nancy?  
>Drake: Don't ask. Why were you here again?<br>Eliphas: Revenge! We need to find the Blood Ravens, but nobody has heard or seen of them lately. We thought you would know.  
>Tlanextic: You expect Lord Drake to know? He couldn't find a way out of a paper bag without destroying the bag.<br>Drake: Paper bags? Tlanextic: Nevermind.  
>Eliphas: So... You don't know?<br>Drake: Nope!  
>Freyskol: Nope!<br>Tlanextic: No.  
>Vyce: Nuh-uh.<br>Eliphas; Very well. Come Neroth, we must return with Lord Carron, as much as I depise the fool.  
>Neroth: He's better than Baal.<br>Drake: Buncha morons! Leave! LEAAAVE!

Eliphas and Neroth depart, exiting out of the same hole in the warp. Dragonspit arrives on the scene from The Dragon's Haste, and the fleet gathers up the cultists. Vyce stands over where the hive city was supposed to be, mumbling something about retcons and Eldar. 


	5. Videovox Time

Lord Drake Misadventures Episode 2-5

On The Dragon's Haste...

Lord Drake: Tlanextic!  
>Tlanextic: Yes my Lord?<br>Lord Drake: Do you have any idea what all these vox messages are about?

Tlanextic looks over the vox logs and shrugs.

Tlanextic: Multiple people asking for cameos.  
>Lord Drake: Cameos? What are those?<br>Tlanextic: I think they have something to do with bringing in known and unknown personalities on the dawn of war forums and throwing them in randomly for fun.  
>Lord Drake: Why would we do that? We're Misadventures not What the 40k?<br>Tlanextic: *monotone* What the 40? I love it.  
>Lord Drake: What?<br>Tlanextic: Say it and we get money.  
>Lord Drake: When did you care about money Tlanextic?<br>Tlanextic: Shut up and do it or Vyce will write us off as getting killed or something.  
>Lord Drake: Why?<br>Tlanextic: We've done cameos before. While you're at it say something about McCarrick's Mercs, A Well Kept Secret, and Kooking with Kharn.  
>Lord Drake: What?<br>Tlanextic: And make sure to promote All In The (Chaotic) Family.  
>Lord Drake: God I hated that show.<br>Tlanextic: I found it amusing.  
>Lord Drake: Reality TV blows.<br>Tlanextic: At least it's not Home Improvement with Marneus Calgar.  
>Lord Drake; God I hate that show too.<br>Tlanextic: Whoever wrote that show needs to die in a fire.  
>Rhuemwight: But I liked that show...<br>Lord Drake: Kill the witch!

Rheuemwight gulps and flees out the door, Vyce walks in, arching an eyebrow at the cultist running by.

Vyce: What are you maggots yapping about?  
>Tlanextic: Oh nothing important.<br>Lord Drake: Speaking of not important, what are we doing?  
>Tlanextic: Sort of wandering my Lord, who knows?<br>Vyce: I'm still curios about the hive city vanishing, but whatever.  
>Lord Drake: I think we should totally head back to Drache and allow Vyce to shape and mold the daemon world like you and myself.<br>Tlanextic: I'm able to do that?  
>Lord Drake: No. You can't. Only the fabulous and awesome Chaos Dragon Vyce Dryke is allowed to do it, and he is better than me.<p>

Tlanextic rolls his eyes and whacks Vyce with his serpent staff.

Vyce: Ow! What was that for?  
>Tlanextic: You know better than to play with mind control. Bad dragon, no dinner for you!<br>Vyce: But it's so easy because he's weak minded!  
>Lord Drake: Weak minded? What you are fools talking about?<br>Vyce: Nothing nothing. Hey you ever wonder what happened to Gorgutz?  
>Lord Drake: No, not particularly.<br>Vyce: I said, you ever wonder what happened to Gorgutz?  
>Lord Drake: I don't follow.<br>Tlanextic: I think he's trying to lead into the next section of this episode.  
>Vyce: You're breaking the fourth wall again.<br>Lord Drake: Screw the fourth wall, I have overpowered DLC weapons.  
>Vyce: What?<br>Tlanextic: You aren't one of those Minihammer 40,000: Dawn of War 2 morons who bought the Dark Angel pack?  
>Lord Drake: Dark Angel pack? What sort of idiot would but that?<p>

Dragonspit walks in, wearing Dark Angel armor.

Dragonspit: My Lord, our forces are suddenly in loyalist Dark Angel gear. Do you have any explanation for this?

Tlanextix groans and facepalms, Vyce starts laughing.

Lord Drake: Shut up you! I have no explanation for Dark Angel wargear. You're clearly trying to be loyalists and I'll kill you all. It's clearly that other dragon thingy that's a loyalist.. Yeah... Uhm.. Look it's Ulkair!  
>Vyce: No way!<br>Dragonspit: Nurglite? KILL!  
>Tlanextic: I thought he was currently disposed?<p>

While nobody is looking Drake slams not so carefully on the side of the ship until the Dark Angel armor is missing and everything reverts back to normal.

Dragonspit: I don't see Ulkair..  
>Vyce: I wrote him off as being slain by Thunder.<br>Tlanextic: Fools.  
>Lord Drake: Phew! That was close, They were almost able to find out I did get the DLC and then somehow applied it to our twisted reality or realities.<p>

Everyone in the room stares at Lord Drake.

Lord Drake: Did I say that out loud? 


	6. My Little Chaos Lord

Lord Drake Misadventures Episode 2-6

Drake: Good news everyone!

Lord Drake walk onto the bridge of The Dragon's Haste. Assembled are Tlanextic and Vyce, while Dragonspit is busy chasing Rhuemwight across the room, and a chained Freyskol glares at everything he can.

Tlanextic: This can't be good.  
>Drake: The Dragon's Haste is going to be remodeled, after something that looked kinda cool that I read in some magazine having to do with monsters and heretics and xenos and xenotics and heresters and METAL BOXES and...<br>Vyce: How long does this go on?  
>Drake: Several pages.<br>Tlanextic: Give me the abridged version.  
>Drake: That's also several pages, and it takes months to update the abridged version.<br>Tlanextic: Whatever, so?  
>Vyce: Anything else?<br>Drake: I had this brilliant idea. Since space is black, we should fire black torpedoes.  
>Vyce: We already fire black torpedoes, and black boxes, and in fact, black everything because it's our primary color.<br>Drake: Oh.. Well maybe they should be red, I heard red goes faster.  
>Tlanextic: My lord, that's an Ork thing.<br>Drake: It is? But red is our secondary color, so should we go faster?  
>Tlanextic: The laws of physics don't work like that.<br>Drake: Well I should ask the Orks, don't they just believe it and it happens? Why don't they just believe a titan into existence?  
>Vyce: Because even to them it's unbelievable.<br>Drake: Makes sense. Which also brings us to our next important question, why don't the Cultists have Commissars?  
>Tlanextic: Pardon me?<br>Vyce: Because the Cultists would all be dead by the time we turned around. We shouldn't pick up the habits of the Imperium.  
>Drake: But we already have an Inquisitor!<br>Tlanextic: Rhuemwight is one of the worst excuses for an Inquisitor, he can't even order an Exterminatus and he flees at the first sign of trouble, despite his.. immortality.  
>Drake: What? Spleens?<p>

In the background a scream of "AUUUUGH MY SPLEEN!" is heard, Rheumwight and Dragonspit already seeming to have left the bridge.

Drake: Huh, must be nothing.  
>Vyce: Isn't there something important for us to do?<br>Tlanextic: Clearly not, particularly after leaving that hunk of rock with nothing on it.  
>Drake: And then forced the cultists to make a puppet show called Lord Drake Puppet Pals.<p>

Tlanextic sighs and palmfaces.

Tlanextic: I don't need our history again Drake, we're currently living it.  
>Drake: Wait! but you haven't gotten to the best part, it's the first season an-<br>Vyce: Right anyway. Do we have anything on the agenda?  
>Drake: Agenda? What is this, a meeting.<br>Tlanextic: Well you called us for some reason.  
>Drake: Right. Uhm. Good news everyone!<br>Vyce: You already did that.  
>Drake: I did? About remodelling The Dragon's Haste?<br>Vyce: Yes, that.  
>Drake: Did I tell you about the ponies?<br>Tlanextic: Ponies?  
>Drake: Yeah, there's this show, I think it's called My Magic Pony: Friendship means nothing, the things they put on these days, it's garbage.<p>

Drake blinks, then glances at his chronometer

Drake: Speaking of garbage, it's on! Excuse me!

Drake dashes off the bridge, and Vyce and Tlanextic exchange confused glances.

Vyce: Let me guess..  
>Tlanextic: No need, must have been one of those cults we picked up.<br>Vyce: There were a lot of them.  
>Tlanextic: So did you hear about the new Imperial weapon they deployed in their shrinking territory?<br>Vyce: No, I don't think so.  
>Tlanextic: Our foolish Cultists are calling them Lampnoughts, by their ability to camouflage with nothing by a lampshade.<br>Vyce: Sounds like we're stealing someone's joke.

Both Tlanextic and Vyce stare at the 'camera', then start laughing.

Meanwhile, in Drake's personal chamber, littered with All in the (Chaotic) Family posters and chainaxes embedded into boxes of Khorne Flake cereal, including a large image of Chaos Lord Crull from Lorn V, signed "Signed Lord Crull, ! xoxoxox", and various other images of Kronus, Drache, and a curios image of a torn up Black Draconis flag.

Lord Drake is glued to his videovox, which takes up the entire wall, watching My Little Pony of all things. Dragonspit barges in and Drake nearly shrieks, fumbling for the remote to shut off the vox.

Dragonspit: I sensed a disturbance in the warp!  
>Drake: Oh good, you didn't catch me watching MLP again.<br>Dragonspit: No sir, I didn't catch you watching My Little Pony again, I caught you watching My Little Pony again while daemons leaked from the video vox.  
>Drake: Well that sounds perfectly reasonab-What!<p>

Drake stares past the video vox, and hoofs start appearing out of the screen o fthe vox, and colorful ponies start stepping out.

Drake: I told them I didn't want a 3d Vox! What do we do?  
>Dragonspit: We do what the space marines do.<br>Drake: What's that?  
>Dragonspit: Cleanse with fire!<p>

Dragonspit adjusts his combibolter and start spewing flame all over the room, Drake's quarters catching fire as more ponies start coming out of the screen.

Tlanextic: It doesn't look like fire is working.  
>Drake: Fire not working? You fight everything with fire, including fire! Tlanexitc: But if you fight fire with fi-<br>Dragonspit: My Lords, this is not the best time for this.  
>Drake: Can't we just, turn off the vox or something?<br>Tlanexitc: I told you this thing was a bad idea, it's powered by the warp after all.  
>Drake: So that's why Jersey Shore is on 247 on one channel, it's powered by madness!  
>Dragonspit: My Lords, demon ponies?<br>Drake: Well there's the other solution, just throw cultists at it until they get bored, like we did that one time with the Bloodthirster, surround with cultists, he can't get past them.  
>Tlanextic: Or summon old characters to do the work for you.<br>Drake: That's a great idea, we should invite BBQSauce!  
>Tlanextic: Who?<br>Drake: You know, the demon with the long name..  
>Tlanextic: No.<br>Dragonspit: My Lords!  
>Drake: You know, he's Khorne, the only part of his name I remember is wank and bbqsauce.<br>Tlanextic: Doesn't ring a bell.  
>Dragonspit: Auuuuugh!<br>Drake: Walk it off you pansy.

Vyce stomps by, dragging Rheumwight by one of his legs, then stop and looks into Drake's quarters,

Vyce: What in the name of all that's unholy is going on here? Ponies? Gnawing on power armor? You three are pathetic.  
>Tlanextic: I honestly don't care.<br>Vyce: I told you this video vox was a bad idea when we were traveling through the warp, unspeakable horrors coming out of it. Were you watching My Little Pony? Dear gods Drake.

Vyce rolls her eyes, drops Rhuemwight (who then scampers away), and walks into the room, picking up the ponies off of Dragonspit's twitching body still covered in power armor and chucks them back into the videovox, then steps into the infernal machine as the show keeps going, and Vyce is seen stomping around, breaking buildings, knocking away ponies, and burninating the countryside. Eventually she steps out of the videovox, grumbling about ponies and turning the thing off.

Vyce: Dragonspit, make sure the cultists destroy this... thing.  
>Drake: Not my precious VideoVox! I need my soaps! <p>


	7. Sock Puppet Related Madness

Lord Drake Misadventures Episode 2-7

In the bowels of The Dragon's Haste, Vyce and Drake are talking in a random empty room.

Vyce: So are are we ever going to do what Abbadon asked us to?  
>Drake: Why would I want to do that? Maybe I should ask my associate Tlanextic.<br>Vyce: He's not down here Drake, how are you going to ask him?  
>Drake: What do you mean? He's right here!<p>

Lord Drake pulls out a sock puppet of Tlanextic, complete with arms and a mini serpent staff

Drake: Tlanextic, should we do what Abbadon says?  
>Drake (as Tlanextic): No Lord Drake, Abbadon is stupid meanie face and I don't like him. We should never do as he says.<br>Drake: See? It's Tlanextic.  
>Vyce: Drake, I'm not a moron, that's clearly a sock puppet.<br>Drake (as Tlanextic): She's the moron, I'm a real person.  
>Drake: See? You can't argue with him!<br>Vyce: Well then...

Vyce rummages around for a bit, and comes up with making another sock puppet of Tlanextic.

Drake: There's two of them!  
>Vyce (As Tlanextic): We should do what Abbadon says, it's so much more fun!<br>Drake (As Tlanextic): Don't listen to that fool, Failbaddon knows nothing.  
>Vyce (As Tlanextic): Listen to me! I know what I'm doing.<br>Drake: I don't know who to listen to! I think I'm going to go crazy!  
>Tlanextic: What are you two morons doing down here? Isn't this one of the cultist's rooms.<br>Drake: There's three of them!  
>Tlanextic: Excuse me?<br>Vyce (As Tlanextic): He's the impostor!  
>Drake (As Tlanextic): You both are the impostors, I'm the real one!<br>Drake: I don't know who to beleive!  
>Tlanextic: This is getting way out of hand Drake: I agree!<br>Drake (As Tlanextic): I don't!  
>Vyce (As Tlanextic): Quiet you!<p>

Suddenly the ship shakes violently, and the sound of screeching metal on metal is heard throughout the ship.

Drake: Warp almighty, what is this, Star Trek? What in the warp hit us?  
>Tlanextic: We should head to the bridge and find out.<br>Vyce: Alright

Vyce tosses away her Tlanextic handpuppet, Tlanextic sighs and facepalms and then exits the room, Vyce glares at Drake's Tlanextic handpuppet, and Drake confusedly looks at it.

Vyce: Come on Drake, neither of us listen to Tlanextic most of the time anyway.

Drake huffs, Vyce rolls her eyes and follows after Tlanextic. Drake stares some more at the handpuppet and tosses it away much in the same fashion as Vyce did, leaving the room and following after.

On the bridge, cultists were panicking as usual, the screech hadn't died off yet, the ship itself must be large, or just really long. Sirens were going off belowdecks, and Dragonspit is trying to calm things down. Lord Drake steps onto the bridge, flanked by Vyce and Tlanextic. The bridge goes silent as the three leaders enter the room.

Drake: Give me a status report.  
>Rhuemwight: My lord, it appears we have been hit by a starship.<br>Drake: Thank you captain obvious, I could have figured that out myself. With all these ships running into us it's no wonder we haven't fallen apart, I think we need to head back to Drache at some point.  
>Tlanextic: Why is it that ships are running into us all the time, I thought we were traveling through the warp.<br>Vyce: Other things travel through the warp too.  
>Drake: Like sock puppets?<br>Tlanextic: No Drake.

The comm system crackles, and feminine yet reptillian voice sounds out across the bridge.

Sindragosa: Sorry! I didn't even see you guys!  
>Vyce: That voice sounds familiar.<br>Tlanextic: It's because she thinks your pathetic magic will betray you.  
>Vyce: Oh no. Not her.<br>Drake: Wait, you two know who it is?  
>Vyce; Well. Sort of.<br>Tlanextic: We were playing World of Warhammercraft again.  
>Drake: Didn't we.. you know.. visit that place sometime?<br>Vyce: I think we were indirectly responsible. Do we still have that recording from the second time we visited Azeroth?  
>Drake: No, I think I demolished it with the rest.<br>Tlanextic: What are dragons doing in space anyway?  
>Vyce: And why is Sindy all in one piece?<br>Drake: Huh? Sindragosa: Huh?  
>Vyce: Last I saw you you were hanging out with the Lich King, but you were an undead frost wyrm.<br>Sindragosa: I was?  
>Vyce: Uh-oh.<br>Drake: Uh-oh what?  
>Vyce: Well.. She doesn't remember being dead or hanging out with the Lich king. What's the most common method we know of for people suddenly forgetting things or otherwise being changed or missing entirely?<br>Drake: Is that downsizing?  
>Vyce: No.<br>Drake: Memory loss?  
>Tlanextic: No.<br>Drake: Furlough?  
>Vyce: No!<br>Drake: Jersey shore?  
>Vyce: Shut up about that show, or I'll bring back the ponies.<br>Drake: Not the ponies!  
>Vyce: Good Chaos Lord. Now, I'm meaning retcon. First that city, now all this stuff in the Azeroth.<br>Tlanextic: Do we have a rogue retconner running about or something?  
>Drake: That'd be silly, like card games on motorcycles.<br>Vyce: Or card games in space.  
>Tlanextic: Or card games in general.<br>Drake: So what if the other races got retconned?  
>Vyce: Or maybe it was because of the strange merger of Wathammer Fantasy and Warcraft.<br>Tlaenxtic: Well perhaps we should visit Azeroth again, see what's happened to them.  
>Drake: With luck, Khorne will have ruled everything!<br>Tlanextic: Or the raven lord will be in charge.  
>Vyce: Or I get to kill an Emperor again!<br>Freyskol: Can you morons release me already? 


	8. World of Warhammercraft 40k Part 1

Lord Drake Misadventures Episode 2-8

Vyce: So.. Sindy...  
>Sindragosa: I hate that name! Just like I hate mortals! *she twitches* Goodness! Why did I say such a thing? Please, call me Sindy.<p>

Vyce rolls he eyes, Sindragosa was for some bizarre reason out in space and in the warp, so for all they knew she could just be a Daemon of Tzneetch or somehting, but there still was a dragon-sized dent in the side of the hull of The Dragon's Haste. They somehow dragged the big blue dragon into the loading bay, where she still stayed. Sindragosa was meanwhile being cheery, which was something strange for a dragon who died, cursing mortal and immortal, came came from the dead as a frost wyrm bone dragon sort of thing, trying to kill everyone, then died again. Even if any of this -was- retconned, she was struggling with her former self. Since Lord Drake and company had found out about Eldrad's and late Itsu's retcon related shenanigans, there hasn't been much chance to notice the effects on people. Usually subjects that were retconned in any way were dragged off without much notice, or by the time Black Draconis showed up there wasn't any evidence at all.

At any rate, the ship had changed direction after letting Sindragosa aboard, heading back towards Azeroth, or whatever it would possibly be called now. Sindragosa was more of less confined to the cargo hold, apparently she forgot the magic to make her something more manageable to fit elsewhere in the ship, which most Azerothian dragons knew how to change to a mortal form in one way or another to blend in, spy, or whatever else dragons do in their free time. At this point the narrarator forgot there was a conversation and Drake took over.

Drake: So now we're back to me. I am the title character after all.  
>Tlanextic: I can't see why.<br>Drake: Are we there yet?  
>Vyce: No!<br>Sindragosa: We should be there soon, despite this strange.. dimension.  
>Vyce: How you know that how?<br>SIndragosa: I know.  
>Dragonspit: My Lords, Ladies, we're about to exit the warp, I suggest you hold onto something and lock your trays in their upright positions.<br>Drake: We don't have any trays!  
>Tlanextic: And the warp exit isn't turbulent.<br>Dragonspit: Apologies my Lords, this comes from the manual for exiting the warp, it's related to some ancient Terra ritual involving something called Commercial Airlines.  
>Drake: Right. Anyway.<p>

The Dragon's Haste was spat out of the warp, ending up floating in orbit over a planet that must be Azeroth. Northrend, the Eastern Kingdoms, and Kalimdor could easily be seen.

Drake: So what's on the other side of the planet?  
>Vyce: Pardon?<br>Drake: Well you guys tell me there's only the three continents on this confounded planet, and we can see all of it from this side. So what's on the other side?  
>Vyce: Lots of ocean?<br>Tlanextic: GM Island?  
>Sindragosa: Nobody knows, the other side of Azeroth is unknown.<br>Drake: Huh.  
>Tlanextic: I'm not going to believe her, she was partially retconned after all.<br>Vyce: Beleive where you want, where should we land?  
>Tlanextic: Good question, I don't even know where to start or who we are looking for.<br>Vyce: Well maybe whoever is doing all this retconning knows where all the other races went.  
>Drake: Well it doesn't matter how long we figure out where to land, we can wait all we want.<br>Vyce: We could also split up, three of us land, do some exploring.  
>Tlanextic: As much as I hate saying this, I can't trust Drake by himself, and the last time I split up and went with you we were stranded on the Ancient Terra wannabe planet that was post-apocalyptic.<br>Vyce: You have to admin that was fun.  
>Drake: Fun? I wasn't there, and we didn't get -anything- out of it.<br>Tlanextic: Besides, don't we have like.. a legion of troops and cultists to do all the scouting for us?  
>Vyce: We could go into pairs and bring troops with us.<br>Tlanextic: Pairs? There are three of us at the top of the leadership pole.  
>Vyce: I get Dragonspit?<br>Dragonspit: I don't think that's a good idea, I should be up here.. uh... coordinating and supervising.  
>Vyce: Rheumwight?<br>Drake: No idea where he is.  
>Vyce: Well that leaves me without any named characters from our forces.<br>Sindragosa: Well what about the dragon skulking in the corner?  
>Vyce: Who?<br>Sindragosa: The Purple one.  
>Vyce: Freyskol is a loyalist, and I'm likely locking him in my room while we're down there.<br>Drake: Well there's always C-  
>Vyce: Don't you dare say his name, I have no idea how he gets everywhere, but I don't want him here.<br>Drake: Well fine.  
>Tlanextic: While you two are bickering the sensors are scanning the surface of the planet, I want to know if anything changed.<br>Drake: I suppose we're going to have to put up with primordial loyalists? And scare them off with sticks.  
>Vyce: Please, a single bolter round would scatter these fools.<br>Tlanextic: Well if the Minihammer Fantasy races -are- here, shouldn't we start with Chaos?  
>Vyce: Assuming Azeroth's geometry hasn't changed, I would assume they're in Northrend, and that might be the Chaos wastes.<br>Drake: Wonderful, let's go Tlanextic!  
>Tlanextic: But, my Lord...<p>

Tlanextic sighs.

Vyce: You better go after him.  
>Dragonspit: No need, I'll cut him off.<br>Tlanextic: So where are you planning to go?  
>Vyce: Northrend.<br>Tlanextic: But we're going there.  
>Vyce: You're randomly wandering, I'm exploring the Wyrmrest Temple.<br>Rheumwight: My Lord! You should see this!  
>Tlanextic: What is it?<br>Rheumwight: There appears to be some sort of mix-up, this isn't the same place as the map you gave me. It's changed!  
>Vyce: Changed?<br>Rheumwight: Take a look for yourself.  
>Vyce: Wait a moment, this isn't right.. Dragon Isles?<br>Tlanextic: The Empire?  
>Rheumwight: There's something in the corner, something about filler episode.<br>Tlanextic: Filler? When have we been plot driven?  
>Vyce: Who knows.<br>Rheumwight: Excuse me, my Lady? Shouldn't you know?  
>Vyce: Will you stop breaking the fourth wall? I'm supposed to be a separate character entirely.<br>Tlanextic: Different sides of the same coin.  
>Corrack: Hey guys, when does my part come up?<br>Vyce: You're not even in this episode!  
>Tlanextic: Well.. This is starting to go outside our target audience.<br>Vyce: This is relevant!  
>Corrack: But but...<br>Vyce: Get out!

Corrack skulks off of the bridge.

Vyce: Right, Dragon isles for me in Northrend with Sindy here.  
>Tlanextic: And I suppose I'll follow Drake to wherever he is going and make sure he doesn't do something stupid.<p>

Downstairs...

Drake: So what does this button on the drop pod do?  
>Dragonspit: Wait! Don't touch that!<br>Drake: Whoops!

Drake hits the button and is shot out into space towards the planet.

Dragonspit: Tlanextic will not be happy... 


End file.
